Michael D.Heath-Caldwell M.Arch.

1942

Memoirs of Lt..A. Heath-Caldwell RN.

And it was 1942 HMS Pinafore was staged in Dunchurch Winton Hall and I was to take the part of Buttercup and I learned all my words well. And come the dress rehearsal I got stage fright and I could not remember the words and I think it was Jacques who was my understudy took over and I was relegated to the Seaman’s Chorus.

And so it was “I’m called little Buttercup, dear little Buttercup, dear sailors should never be shy and I’ve got scissors and laces to set off the faces of pretty young sweethearts and wives,” – and that gave way to – “ With cat like tread upon our way we go, no sound at all we never speak a word a fly’s footfall would be distinctly heard. Psss-ush – What was that? It was the Cat, it was the Cat (the Cat-o-nine-tails).



And it was 1942 and we’d been bombed at School so I couldn’t wait to put on a uniform like my three sisters. And C.L.D.F was so sure I would not get into the Navy that he got Mr Glass the Assistant Head to instruct me in Greek and I was destined, they thought, to become a doctor and go to Wellington Public School, of course a private school and very expensive too as a preliminary to going to Medical School and getting my degree.

But that was not to be. For C.L.D.F. took me down to the Admiralty in London during the V1 buzz bomb war in London, in a lull of course, and I went before a board of Admirals, a Captain and Head Master of Public Schools and of course they knew that my great uncle was 2nd Sea Lord and responsible for Personnel and of course their promotion – dear me, how cynical can you be, James.

And they looked at my C--- Entrance Exam answers and saw I put the Falkland Islands next to Scotland and they pointed that out to me and I didn’t bat an eyelid. And I got a scholarship into the RN, coming fourth in my term, I believe, up against the nerds. And we discovered that from Gieves Limited, the expensive tailor which provided our uniform and clothes and arrived at RN, Eaton Hall, Chester. And Gieves somehow put our names down and numbered them according to our exam results, goodness knows how, and I was fourth on the list.